On to Cycle #20

and I am taking it pretty hard. Even though its only been one cycle since I was "cleaned out" I had high hopes for it, even though I wouldn't admit it to myself. I don't think I am going to temp this cycle. Its starting to really stress me out to the point that I am not sleeping because I am so anxious about taking my temp. My RE always goes over my charts at the beginning of each appointment so I feel guilty not temping, but if I want to keep my sanity I need a break. I am also not buying more OPKs. I have 2 in the house I may pee on, but I refuse to get any more. I will still probably use my CBEFM so that I will know when I ovulate. I don't want the stress of wondering if I am late or not. I wish I could flip a switch in my brain so I don't think about TTC all the time, but every waking thought and most of my sleeping thoughts are about being pregnant. Its getting harder and harder to even leave the house anymore. I just want this to be over.