{eight year well child}
8 years ago
Wednesday, September 2, 2009
So the positive thinking thing
I am not doing so well with it. I am just so scared. I cannot imagine that I will actually get a baby out of this. Infertility has totally fucked up my brain. Every little thing freaks me out. I freak when I have cramps, I freak when I don't have cramps. Last night I cried because my boobs stopped hurting. (They are hurting again, but in a different place, weird). I know I need to calm down and symptoms come and go, but I want to feel every.single symptom possible to reassure myself that things are progressing as they should. I am praying for morning sickness. See what I mean about infertility screwing me up permanently. What person in their right mind prays to be puking. An infertile thats who. I am just trying to make it though until my u/s. Once I see the little cupcake then I will feel better (for a few minutes).
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6 comments:
I totally understand wishing for puking. ((HUGS))
((Hugs)) I totally understand what you're saying.
On the bright side the crazy, emotional, irrational thinking is likely a PG symptom
~smilelari~
I completely understand! I'm sure everything will be perfect!! It's hard not to want those symptoms...and yes IF really does mess you up ;)
I wish I could tell you it gets better in a short period of time, but I still freak out a little bit when my symptoms ease up for a couple hours. And I am 15 weeks now. Infertility totally fucks you up. I am sorry you're dealing with it, too.
BUT, I am so excited for you. This IS it! I hope you are able to embrace and enjoy it soon!
Try to not be too hard on yourself. You have a lot invested in this pregnancy already. The truth is that every day that goes by uneventfully only improves the likelihood that you and your little marshmallow will be together for 40 weeks, give or take. There wasn't a day of my pregnancy that I didn't experience at least a little niggling fear. Do what you can to enjoy this time - it's so magical and is over before you know it.
CONGRATULATIONS MAMA!!!
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