I am stuck in rut that will never end

I am the type of person who lives my life in anticipation of the next big thing. I cannot live in the moment. I must have something to look forward to or I get into a funk. Right now I am in that funk. We have nothing planned, no vacations, no home projects, nothing. I have nothing to look forward to right now and it sucks. I was hoping to get in another vacation this summer, but I had to make the dreaded RE appointment and that’s going to be $500 on the spot, so we need to save for that. I guess I should look forward to seeing the RE and hopefully figuring some things out, but I am actually terrified of the appointment. I keep thinking “what if something is really wrong and he tells us we can never have children” I don’t know how I can go on knowing that. I guess I need to figure out how to live in the moment and cherish everyday, but that’s really hard for me to do. I just feel like I am stuck in rut that will never end. Everyday is the same thing: wake up, get dressed, go to work, go to the gym, make dinner, watch tv, go to bed, repeat. ::Sigh::