Feeling down today

I was awakened to the phone ringing this morning (which always freaks me out since this was the way I learned my grandfather had passed away and with an elderly grandmother I kinda hate to hear the phone ring) Well this time it was my mom. She called to tell me that my cousin's wife gave birth to a baby boy this morning. A baby she got pregnant with like the same day she told me she didn't want kids for a couple more years. A baby she got pregnant with a year after I started TTC. It hit me hard. Its just so unfair.

Yesterday we went to the Master's. At the end of the day we went to the gift shop. One of the guys we were with has a pregnant wife and he was buying the cutest pink baby things. It just broke my heart.

I am 9 dpo today and I am 100% sure this cycle didn't work either. Which leaves one more of the 3 the RE said to try on our own, then I am demanding an IUI since I am pretty certain its my cervix/CM that is the issue. If the RE says no this time I am getting a second opinion. I am just so done.