I feel like I am at a standstill. My RE wants us to try on our own for 3 cycles since the cervicitis looks better. Well one down, two more to go. I honestly don't think we will get pregnant on our own. I feel like we are just wasting time and treading water until January when I will have a lap. I don't want a lap, but the RE won't move forward without one in case my tubes were blocked by infection after the HSG. Just my luck right, the procedure meant to see if my tubes are open blocked them.
I just feel like giving up. Mentally, I don't think I can handle this any longer. I feel like I am going insane. I don't like the person I have become. I am on the verge of tears 24/7 and I hate leaving the house. IF has completly ruined me.
{eight year well child}
8 years ago
4 comments:
I'm sorry.
Been there. It's horrible.
I finally found bits and pieces of the old me in places, and in time I rebuilt myself. Not quite the same, for sure. Changed profoundly? Yes. But much closer to the original than I had ever thought possible. (And no, I dont' have a baby yet, and I am not pg. Just wanted to add that in case you thought I was just blowing sunshine up your butt.)
(((((many hugs)))))
I am sorry.
I have been there also. The first year of ttc I was fine, the second I was a total mess so I started therapy. This third year has been much easier on me, I am not back to the way I was but I am in no way as bad as I was last year. It will get better, I will be thinking of you.
I am so very sorry to hear that AF showed...IMO I really think it may be time to possibly start looking around for another RE (what do you think?). I understand the issue with the cervicitis, but it does seem like they're dragging their feet to move onto the next step. I also understand how frustrating it can be seeing BFN after BFN and letting IF consume our lives. Please try to hang in there...I'll be praying for you!
::hugs::
I know how you feel, I'm sorry.
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