I have to be pregnant this cycle

I have to be knocked up this cycle, I just have to. My test date is next Saturday. It will be the one year anniversary of when my grandfather passed away. He raised me (long story, but my dad has been there the whole time so I grew up with 2 great dads). We plan to name our first son after him. If I could get a BFP on Saturday, it would be like he really is up there watching over me. Ok, now I am crying.